These are my biggest wedding planning tips for achieving a stress-free wedding day, which is something I wish for every sweet couple that books with us!
My desire is to support you in every way I can: as you select your vendors, as we plan a custom timeline of your day, and as we talk about all the elements of the day that you've always dreamed of - and some things you might not have thought of!
At the end of the day, our shared goal is that your wedding day runs smoothly and is exactly as you envisioned it would be - and that you have the best opportunities for amazing photos to look back on when the day is done!
1. Give Yourself Enough Time to Plan!
There is a misconception that planning a wedding is a complex, long and difficult process (and sometimes it can be!), but it can also be a very enjoyable and rewarding journey - if you've given yourself enough time to plan! With ample planning time, you have the room to breathe and immerse yourself in the experience rather than rushing through and checking items off your never-ending to-do list.
Wait - you don't have a to-do list yet?! Make sure to grab The Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist at the bottom of this post! It includes absolutely everything you need as well as a timeline of WHEN you should plan each part of your wedding so you can enjoy the process without unnecessary stress!
So whether you have a year to plan or only four months like I did, it can be done! True story: My husband and I were engaged in September and married in January! Let me tell you, it was STRESSFUL... but knowing what I know now about weddings, I wish 2009 Stephanie would have done these things to lower the stress levels, even just a little bit!
2. Plan the wedding YOU want.
There are so many wedding traditions - some old, some new, some borrowed, and some... true to you! Your family, friends, and community might have big opinions on some traditions and might even give you a hard time about doing away with some of them. Talk about stressful!
My advice: plan the events of the day and the details that you really want, and that will make your wedding special. Plan the wedding that's true to you. I'm a BIG believer in doing the things that mean something to you as a couple and leaving the rest... it's your day, after all! There are a million ways to make sure your wedding is true to your personality and desires as a couple, and once you've come to terms with what that looks like for you, it's one less thing to stress about!
3. Hire Vendors you Trust!
The last thing you want for your wedding day is to realize that a vendor you've chosen isn't what you expected, or worse, left you hanging and scrambling to find someone new last minute! In a recent post, I gave some tips for selecting vendors... but it really comes down to selecting vendors that you trust to make your vision for your wedding come to life! If you're worrying about your vendor even a little bit before the big day, chances are you'll be worrying about them the day-of as well!
4. Hire a Day-Of Coordinator
While it may not be necessary to hire a wedding planner (many brides love to do it all themselves!), it's important to consider how a good day-of coordinator can help ensure that you have a stress-free wedding day! The role of a day-of wedding coordinator is to manage the flow of the day and make sure everything is in order and progressing as planned.
You've spent countless hours planning all the details of your special day, but you can't be everywhere managing the big and little details that might go wrong throughout the day - and you don't want to be! The day goes by so quickly, and you're going to want to enjoy every minute of it!
Even if you can't afford to hire one, a day-of coordinator should be an organized individual, have an eye for detail, and know how to work with others - so even an organized and authoritative Aunt will do in a pinch!
5. Create a Timeline with your Photographer.
Your photographer is with you the entire day and can help you know how much time each part of the day will take on average. Personally, I've shot over 400 weddings, and I can tell you exactly how long it will take to get those cute champagne toasting photos, or how long we should plan for 200 guests to be served dinner, and how much time is a good amount of time for dance floor candids!
You don't want to feel rushed or get your photos back and realize something was left off or missed. If we know you have a letter from your spouse on the day-of, we can schedule enough time in the getting ready portion of the day to capture your reactions and emotions, without making you feel rushed - or leaving to get the groom's photos while you wanted that time for Bridals.
These are all things that you'll need to discuss with your photographer and plan time for in the day. Most photographers charge by the hour - and there's a big difference in what can be covered in 6 hours vs. 8 hours!
6. Consider a First Look.
There are so many great reasons why you should consider doing a first look (I have a whole post about the why you might love doing a First Look), but one of the biggest considerations is: reducing stress!
If you think you might be stressed or nervous on your wedding day, who better to calm those nerves than the person you've chosen to share your life with? I've shot hundreds of weddings, and in my experience, couples are far more relaxed and are more themselves when they get to spend the majority of the day with the one they love. No rushing through your photo list during cocktail hour, worrying about keeping your guests waiting. No worrying that even the tiniest hiccup is going to throw the rest of the day out of order!
The story I want to capture on your wedding day is the LOVE between you and your partner - not any anxiety or stress of pre-ceremony jitters!
7. Delegate
If you've found yourself repeating the common saying “if you want something done right you have to do it yourself”, you may need to sit down for this next tip! It's practically impossible to do everything yourself, especially on your wedding day, while also remaining present in the moment to actually experience the day. This is why it's important to find a way to delegate wherever possible. Delegation gives you the opportunity to focus on the things that are most important while handing off the things you can.
Do you need lunch while getting ready with your girls? Hand off that task, and ask a bridesmaid to pick up a fruit & sandwich tray from a restaurant.
Will you want your plate ready after your first dance in the reception? Ask the Maid of Honor & Best Man (or the day-of coordinator, caterer, etc.) to fix your plate while you dance!
8. Surround yourself with people committed to making your day perfect.
When planning for your wedding day, make sure you surround yourself with people committed to making your wedding day absolutely perfect. This means leaving out anyone who causes stress, whether it be a certain caterer to the florist or even a friend who knows how to push every one of your buttons. Ultimately, you want to surround yourself with people who will help keep you calm on your big day and help the day go as smoothly as possible.
9. Go with the flow.
You no doubt have a Pinterest board full of perfect pictures and intricate details from styled shoots, and you’ve planned your wedding with a million of those tiny details. It feels like each and every one is just as important as the others, but it's important to recognize that you may have to let go of some things. If some elements have to change, it’s not going to ruin your wedding vision. Be willing to go with the flow when a late frost hits and wipes out the flowers you planned for, or when the linens you fell in love with have been discontinued - it happens! And it won’t be as stressful if you’re going with the flow rather than fighting against it.
10. Relax.
Just relax!
Easier said than done, of course, especially if you’ve been stressed out from weeks and months of preparation and anxiety leading up to the big day. Just remember the true reason for the day - it’s not about the boutonnieres or the cake; it’s about celebrating the day you get to marry the love of your life.
So take a deep breath, relax, and focus on the marriage, and not just the wedding.
You should plan and be prepared for anything and everything on your wedding day - including stress! No matter how perfect your wedding day is, if you're stressed, it will be reflected in your pictures. Planning elements that reduce day-of stress is one of the best gifts you can give yourself on your big day!
We are in this together - I want to see you happy and excited on your special day, and if you consider everything outlined above, you'll be well on your way to having the best stress-free day of your life.
If you'd like a practical, simple checklist with what vendors you actually need, and when you should book them... enter your email below and I'll send you the ultimate wedding planning checklist!
If you’re planning a wedding, be sure to follow me over on Instagram! I post tips almost daily to help you as you plan your perfect day!
Thanks for reading!