12 Sentimental Ways to Remember Passed Loved Ones on Your Wedding Day
It's every couple’s dream to be surrounded by their nearest and dearest on their wedding day. But often, there will be those who can't be in attendance. On these momentous occasions, we really can feel the loss of loved ones who have passed, and feel compelled to honor and remember them during our celebrations.
Over the years, I've had many brides ask me for ideas on how to remember or honor their absent loved ones on their wedding day. If you're one of those brides, oh, how I feel for you, sweet friend. I am so very sorry you're feeling that loss of someone so loved while planning your wedding.
This is an incredibly emotional topic for me, as I know the pain all too well with my own father's passing only seven months ago. So, as I'm writing this, I'm wiping away tears because I know there will be an absence and a void that can't be filled on this earth. Still, on your special day, we can find ways to honor and remember your loved one in one (or many) very meaningful ways.
Here are a few ideas that I've seen my past couples incorporate into their wedding day to honor a loved one that has passed.
1. Incorporate Their Favorite Flower
When working with your florist, think about the flowers you associate with your loved one. Did your mother love sunflowers? Did your grandmother have a rose garden she tended? There are many ways you could incorporate their favorite flower - into your bouquet, the boutonnieres, or floral arrangements for the ceremony or reception. You can choose whether to make a note of it on a sign or in your programs so your guests can appreciate the gesture, or you can keep it as a small, private and meaningful gesture.
2. Carry or Wear an Item in Memoriam
Consider having your 'something borrowed' be something from your loved one who has passed. You could incorporate Grandmother's jewelry into your bridal ensemble, carry Grandfather's pocket watch or handkerchief, or perhaps keep a gift or trinket that was given to you close by.
3. Have an Article of Their Clothing, a Photo, or a Piece of Their Wedding Attire Sewn Into Yours
I've seen many sweet brides take parts of their late Mother's wedding gown to have it tailored into a custom gown or pieces incorporated in subtle ways.
Another subtle option would be to wrap Mom or Grandmother's wedding gown lace around your bouquet or pin a broach onto your gown or bouquet.
4. Have a Locket or Memorial Photo Made for Your Bridal Bouquet
Carrying a photo can be a subtle but meaningful way to feel your loved one's presence with you as you celebrate your day. Consider placing their photo into a decorative trinket or locket and pinning it to the inside of your jacket or somewhere on the neckline of your dress.
Another popular choice is to pin the photos to your bridal bouquet.
5. Write a Tribute in Your Wedding Program
Another way to honor your passed loved one at your wedding is to include them in the ceremony program. Consider adding an In Loving Memory tribute to your program with the rest of your ceremony details.
6. Reserve a Seat at the Ceremony
You can place a photo where your loved one would have been seated and add florals, an arrangement, a corsage, or a boutonniere on or in front of their chair.
If you're considering this, there are multiple ways to do this. You could have it placed before the ceremony begins or walk down the aisle with a small bouquet or single flower and place it on their chair when you enter. You could also choose to have a corsage or boutonniere made for them to put on their chair.
You can also have place cards made for the reception and have a small table assigned for those loved ones who are missing from the celebrations.
7. Light a Memorial Candle
One of those simplest ways to honor a loved one is by lighting a candle in their honor. This can be done with or without an announcement being made, and can be done really any time that works with your wedding day timeline.
8. Include a Special Prayer, Quote, Scripture, or Poem
Consider incorporating your remembrance at the ceremony in a more direct way, with a moment of reflection or silence at the start. You could also choose to include a personally significant prayer, quote, scripture or poem. Or instead, remember them during your reception with a toast if that's more your style.
9. Read or Write a Letter
It’s up to you if you want to take a private moment and read a letter from your loved one, or if you choose to write one to them on this day instead. Either way will be special and possibly emotional. So be prepared, and do what your heart needs on your special day.
When my Dad passed, I did everything I could to stay busy and not dwell in grief. But a few months later, I knew that I needed to heal and work through those emotions. My sister actually was the one to encourage me to write notes to Daddy. Every time I wish I could call him or ask for advice, tell him about something going on, or just unload the emotions - I write a note in my phone to him. It’s helped me as I continue to move through the stages of grief and deal with the loss. Maybe before your wedding day, you could write a letter as you approach this momentous day without them.
If your future spouse has lost someone, you might also consider taking a letter or note from their late loved one, and have something special made from it. The images below show a note this Groom’s dear Grandfather had written in his Bible, along with his signature - and his bride had it crafted into a beautiful keepsake for him.
On another personal note, I found an artist on etsy that creates custom jewelry from handwriting. I had a bracelet made with the last words my Dad spoke to me in person, in his own handwriting. An item like this is not only a wonderful gift for any time - but an especially beautiful way to carry a memory of that person with you on your special day.
10. Play Their Favorite Song
If you're unable to dance with your Father or Mother on your wedding day, you could choose to simply play a song for them - or dance with someone special to you, such as an Uncle or Brother.
Or, if you just want a special song to remember your loved one, pick a song to honor them at the beginning of your reception with a moment of silence or a photo slideshow.
11. Donate to a Meaningful Charity
In lieu of a standard registry, have your guests donate to a particular charity in honor of your loved one - this could be a charity that is either significant to the loss or that your loved one supported. If you prefer, you could also forgo the costs associated with wedding favors, make the donation yourself, and place a sign at your reception indicating so.
12. Place your bouquet or boutonniere or an arrangement on their grave after your wedding.
I know that some people say not to put real flowers on a grave, but the gesture and emotional meaning might just outweigh doing what's "proper." Just remember to remove any ribbon, or non-natural materials from the bouquet, boutonniere, or arrangement so that they don't blow away, or get carried away by animals.
All of the above options can be as subtle or as public as you're comfortable with. It's okay if you ultimately decide you don't want to do anything at all - you know your grief and your journey, and you may decide all of these are too much to handle on your wedding day. And that's okay. You don't have to publicly recognize your loved ones on your special day to love and remember them.
Consider checking in with anyone who might also be sensitive to the loss as well, especially if the loss is relatively recent.
Remember, there's no right or wrong way to do this! Do what you feel will give you peace in knowing that you've honored them during this next step in your life.
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Thanks for reading!
